Helpless

I have been feeling quite helpless. Grateful for all that I have while seeing news posts about innocent people being deported and detained, about people losing jobs that they have committed their lives to. Jobs that do good for the world. People’s existence being erased. For what?

I have friends who have lost their beloved pets, who’s parents’ health is rocky, who are overwhelmed with their parent/work balancing. Friends who are surely worried about their own safety as members of the LGBTQ community.

I am grateful for my life. A dog still with me and doing fine (her last oncology appointment was a few weeks ago and ehr tumor has still not grown!). Parents who still have their marbles. Friends who are as outraged as I am. A job I enjoy and seems stable. A volunteer position that has me responsible for a lot – a good thing to focus on.

I stumbled on Meghan Sussex’s new Netflix show and it was a frivolous reprieve from the world and I appreciated that. Is she wearing billion dollar clothing and as such seeming unrelateable? A little bit. I still enjoyed it. Also, she actually seems genuine in her interactions with others. How do I know this? I’ve see her act and in my opinion, it’s not her strong suit.

I’ve started a new cross-stitch, another good distraction. I am taking a break from making earrings like I’m a human assembly line – an activity I call Coping by Creating.

I removed news outlet podcasts from my phone, but my social media is overrun with bad news. Stop using it? I can’t because there are also otters doing adorable things and puppies too.

I have sent emails to Warren, Pressley, Markey, Obama, Bush, Harris, and Clark. All variations of “Our hands are tied. Morale is low. Do something. Say SOMETHING!”

I am no longer shopping at Target, and doing my absolute best to move away from Amazon. I’ve acquired a membership at COSTO, and am simply ordering things other places (I’m still waiting on some Dr Scholl’s insoles that I ordered ten days ago. I’ve gotten handmade items from etsy faster!).

None of this feels effective. I’m glad the sun is coming out again. That’s good.