I arrived home from my trip to Savannah on Sunday afternoon. Sunday night, I got together with Mom and Dad for dinner and to bring The Beast back home.
Telling them about the city I’d visited, I mentioned the songwriter and founder of Capitol Records William Mercer. To which my dad responded “It’s Johnny Mercer”
I objected vehemently, remembering that the house itself had a plaque which read “William Mercer House”. Dad Googled it and I was wrong.
Because I can never remember a fucking thing correctly. The house is called The Mercer- Williams House, actually, and the Mercer guy was, in fact, John.
This is something that goes back a long way for me – remembering things wrong. Not getting my facts right.
A lifetime with a parent who does get the facts right much of the time when he challenges me of course adds salt to this old wound. This is not a knock on my father.
It just is what it is. I’m hella smart in some areas and a dumb-dumb in others.
My final class of White People Challenging Racism; Turning Talk to Action, is taking place on Wednesday. We’ve have been tasked with coming up with an “action plan”. Click below to read a list of questions (sample answers provided by instructors) which are supposed to help us write-up our Action Plans. Putting Your Action Plan in Writing
I will be sharing something like this instead;
Not submitting an Action Plan is not for lack of interest, but rather due to insecurity (and perhaps fear of failure as well). Because this topic feels so massive, seeping into everything, I have been unable to focus an aspect of it and turn it into something concrete that I can act on.
As I type this, I realize that witnessing injustice does not require me to have facts in my hand to speak out against it, but I do want to be the most succinct I can be, and I suspect the only way I can do that is to continue to learn about the topic of racism and make the “inner work” solid enough that I do not second guess myself and speaking out with clarity becomes second nature.
I can’t help but feel as though acting on this topic with insecurity flirts with being on the side of the “white hero”, instead of ally.
I do not see racism in my day-to-day life, so how can I be an ally for something I do not witness? I know there are flaws in this statement, which is why I have more work to do.