Manifesting

I had a wonderful time in the cape last week. I spent it with my mom, dad, aunt and uncle, eating good food, and I went on a few bike rides, which – tangent – The week prior when I was riding my new bike in the cape the chain started slipping. I had to accept that I needed to take it to a shop for a tune-up. I’m delighted to have one very close to my home. Convenient and supporting a local business!

I brought the bike in and the the guy there took in what I had to say and looked at the bike. He told me that when you get a new bike out of the box it generally needs to be tuned by a professional after it’s assembled by the owner. I bought this brand new bike from an elderly man who was getting rid of it on behalf of his older brother. The older brother bought it brand new and could never manage it.

“Also,” said the bike shop guy, “The handlebars were installed upside down”

Other issues I was having were now making sense.

So last week I had a tuned bike with no slipping chain, I could see what gears I was working with because of the indicators on the corrected handlebars, and the brakes felt right (because they had been backwards prior from the backwards handlebars).

Back from the tangent. I thoroughly enjoyed some bike riding and Rummikub playing, a few walks and some cross stitching.

But the point of this post was to talk about manifesting. I have regularly sensed things happening before they actually happen. I chalk this up to like experience. A lifetime of watching human interaction and behavior and being able to predict what comes next.

But one morning in the cape I woke thinking about the dog’s food. Her canned food in the fridge was at its end and looking old and I would need to open another can. I instantly envisioned that whatever can opener I could find wouldn’t work, and how would I open the wet food without a functioning can opener? All this thought before even getting out of bed.

Now maybe I’ve come across this crummy can opener in the cape and forgot, but I don’t think so, because I would have thrown it out. Maybe my mildly depressed mind just took the first thing that came into my mind and made it problematic somehow. Preparing for issues to solve? No idea.

A half hour later I was downstairs pulling out all the things Harlow needs for breakfast, and getting the new can of food and a can opener. Which couldn’t cut a thing. At all. I latched it on and the cutting wheels, which were a titch rusty from the salty air, just slipped and slipped.

Weird. I threw it out.

Fortunately there was a second can opener.

An hour later I went out to my bike for a ride and a memory from childhood which I hadn’t thought of in I don’t know how long came to me. Remember how sometimes your shoelace would get wound around the pedal and you’d have to navigate your way backwards to unwind them before you fell over on the concrete? I thought about that. Then the thought went away. Until forty five minutes later when that exact thing happened for the first time since I got the bike. Maybe I subconsciously noticed my laces were a little loose as I was readying to leave the house? I have no idea.

Is manifestation a thing? Were these coincidences or did I make them happen somehow?

I believe in the importance of believing certain things will happen for you. And that’s where I am stumped with regard to my bigger life picture. If I do not believe I will ever find my person, I know I will not. When I sit and reflect on this concept, I cannot even access the belief that I am deserving of it and it will happen. During my most recent dating experience, I felt like oh yeah, this is normal and how I’m supposed to be. Partnered up! But then it ended and that belief went with it.

{Leaves to Google “how to be more optimistic about finding your person in an world that worships beauty and youth”}