Dear Madre

Dear Madre,

I am realizing as I write this that I am not sure your daughter ever told me your actual name! I’m sure she has told me it, but I only ever remember her calling you “Madre”.

A few hours ago, she just texted and informed me that you have left. Did you know it was Easter Sunday? I had been wondering if you would exit this life on this day, knowing of your faith.

Thinking of you, and more so your daughter and her broken heart, I am brought back to a memory of my childhood. When I was in grade school and certain bullies would pick on me, I would go home and cry to my mom. I can see her now, leaning towards me from her chair in her studio as I stood in front of her, looking into my eyes and saying “If I had a magic wand and could take the pain away I would.”

Throughout my life, she would say this many times in various instances.

And now your daughter is suffering so much without you, her best friend, that I am thinking of those words. I thought maybe someday I would say them to a child of my own, but it turns out you can love a friend enough to wish it for them.

There is nothing I can do to fix this. No good advice. No amount of hugs. There is no magic wand.

What would you do for her, Madre? I’m pretty sure you would listen, so I’ll try that, OK?

I heard a TED talk the other day, and the speaker said “When you’re grieving, you never move on. You do not get over the loss. You move forward with your grief.”

Your daughter fears being in the world without you. I know it will be horrible for her. She will grieve, she will hurt, she will feel things there are no words for. But you did a good job, Madre, and she will be OK. I’m quite sure of it.

You are a warrior who made a warrior.


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